Dating and developing new relationships can be challenging for single young adults with cancer.

Dating

Dating is an important part of life for many young adults, especially those hoping to find a partner, marry, and start a family. A fear of rejection or of not being a suitable partner may cause a person, with or without cancer, to avoid dating. Although rejection can happen, cancer or not, it's important to not let the fear of rejection keep you from dating.

Recommendations for starting new relationships

The following suggestions may help as you begin new relationships:

• Spend time with friends and family and find social activities you enjoy, all of which can lead to potential opportunities to meet someone new.
  
  
• Try a new activity, join a club, or take a class. These activities will help you become more comfortable with how people respond to you, especially if you have physical signs of cancer, such as hair loss, scars, or an amputation.
  
  
• Make a list of positive qualities about yourself that make you a good partner. Cancer does not define you. On the contrary, you can use this experience to make you more experienced and wise.

Telling a new partner about your experience with cancer

Deciding when to tell a new partner about your experience with cancer is a personal choice. Some cancer survivors are reluctant to discuss something so personal with someone new and are afraid of scaring away a potential partner. For others, their cancer experience is so important that not telling early in a relationship feels dishonest. While the right time to tell will differ for each person, it may help to wait until you and your new partner have developed a mutual level of trust and caring. It is also best to tell a new partner before a relationship becomes serious.

As your relationship grows, finding a way to talk about difficult topics, such as the possibility of infertility, the risk of recurrence of cancer, and the potential for long-term side effects from the cancer and your treatment becomes more important. Some partners may also need to be reassured that cancer is not contagious.

You cannot give your cancer to anyone else, no matter how intimate you become with your partner.

Cancer and sexuality

Some cancers and cancer treatments directly affect sexuality through physical changes to the body. Other physical changes, such as hair loss, scars, or loss of a body part, may affect a person's body image. Some young adults are concerned about how cancer has affected their sexual attractiveness or sexual performance. For more information on the affects of cancer on body image and sexuality, read Cancer and Body Image and Body Image and Sexuality.

Communication is important in overcoming anxiety about beginning a new sexual relationship. Discussing sexuality with a new partner can be difficult, but it can help alleviate some of your anxiety and lead to a greater sense of emotional intimacy and trust. There is no "perfect time" to talk about sexuality, but it is best to discuss the topic before becoming sexually intimate. Pick a time to talk with your partner when you are both relaxed, and practice ahead of time what you want to say. Be honest about your concerns, and encourage your partner to share any concerns he or she may have. Most people find that talking about sexuality becomes easier with practice, and that it is a lot easier than they thought it would be.

Finding support

Some young adults find that speaking with a counselor and/or joining a support group is helpful in sorting through questions about sexuality, intimacy, fertility, and relationships. Many people find that support groups for other single or young adult cancer survivors are a good source of advice and encouragement.

More Information

Cancer.Net: Sexual and Reproductive Health

Cancer.Net: Cancer in Young Adults