Key messages:

• Effective communication—with the person with cancer, the health care team, and others who are involved in providing care—should be a key priority for long-distance caregivers.
  
  
• Staying organized can help long-distance caregivers coordinate care from afar.

Caring for a person with cancer who lives far away presents unique challenges. Without the ability to be physically present to provide care at all times, many of the usual caregiving concerns may be intensified and the logistics may be more complicated. The following suggestions can help you become a more effective caregiver, regardless of your location.

Educate yourself. Gather and organize information about the medical, financial, and legal needs of the person with cancer so that you can make informed decisions regarding the individual’s care, if that is your caregiving role. This includes ensuring that the necessary legal documents and permissions are in place so that you can access medical and, in some cases, financial information if the person with cancer becomes unable to manage those issues alone. Find more information about specific cancer types, managing the cost of cancer care, and advance directives.

Introduce yourself. Call medical providers involved in the care of the person with cancer to introduce yourself and let them know that you play a key role in providing care.

Explore professional services. Contact the person’s doctor, oncology nurses, social worker, or state or local health department officials for referrals for home care services that are provided by reputable, professional caregivers. Home care services can range from providing basic medical care to assisting with housekeeping, meals, and personal care. Talk with the person’s insurance company about which, if any, home care services are covered. Learn more about home care.

Recruit and organize volunteers. Identify and contact relatives, neighbors, family friends, and members of religious, civic, and social organizations who might be able to perform caregiving tasks. An online group calendar, such as Lotsa Helping Hands, can help coordinate volunteer schedules and share information.

Prepare for unexpected travel. Be prepared to travel if the person with cancer needs your assistance unexpectedly. In advance, reserve vacation or sick days from work, investigate travel options, and arrange for someone to help care for your own family while you are away.

Provide and seek emotional support. Reach out through regular phone calls, letters, and e-mails, which can reassure the person with cancer of your continued support. It is also equally important for long-distance caregivers to seek out support for themselves from family, friends, or a counselor to help deal with stress and emotional struggles—such as depression or anxiety—that can be associated with caregiving. For example, many long-distance caregivers feel guilty about living far away from the person with cancer, wishing that they could be closer and provide more help. Or they may feel overwhelmed by the challenges of coordinating care from afar. Identify people who are sources of emotional support and meet with them on a regular basis. Learn more about how caregivers can take care of themselves.

Making the most of visits

The key to a successful visit is planning ahead and using the time wisely to perform caregiving tasks that cannot be done from afar. The following suggestions can help you make the most of a visit.

Meet with a member of the medical team. Set up an appointment with the person’s doctor, oncology nurse, or social worker to discuss the medical issues and care plan in person. Before the trip, prepare a list of questions for the health care provider. It is important to include the person with cancer in the discussions, if possible.

Meet with the person’s informal support network. Arrange to meet with friends, neighbors, and members of community organizations who are helping provide care. Ask if they have any concerns or suggestions on ways to improve care, and request that they contact you immediately if they identify any problems.

Schedule a break for the local caregivers. If possible, plan to take over some of the local caregivers’ responsibilities. In addition to providing the local caregivers with some relief, this gives you the opportunity to reassess the caregiving needs and resources first hand. Observe the person’s condition and the condition of the surroundings. Is there food in the refrigerator? Is the house clean? Is the person bathed and groomed? Spend time talking to the person with cancer about their feelings regarding the care they are receiving.

Take time to reconnect. Schedule quality time with the person with cancer by participating in activities that you enjoy doing together.

More Information

Organizing Your Cancer Care

Young Adults as Long-Distance Caregivers

Caregiving

Additional Resources

Family Caregiver Alliance: Handbook for Long-Distance Caregivers

Caring From a Distance

Last Updated: May 27, 2010