Caring for a family member or friend with cancer who lives far away has its unique challenges. Since long-distance caregivers cannot be physically present to provide care at all times, many of the usual caregiving concerns may be intensified. It can be difficult to figure out how to provide care from afar and to judge whether a situation can be managed over the phone or if an actual visit is needed. The following suggestions can help you become a more effective caregiver, no matter your location.

Educate yourself. Gather as much information as possible about your family member or friend's medical, financial, and legal needs so you can make informed decisions regarding his or her care when necessary. Organize this information so that you have quick and easy access to it. Talk with the person you care for about having the necessary legal documents and permissions in place so that you are able to access medical and, in some cases, financial information. You can also effectively research resources that the person needs, make phone calls on behalf of the person, and pay bills or perform other similar tasks by phone or Internet.

Introduce yourself. Call medical providers involved in the care of the person with cancer and introduce yourself. Let them know that you play a key role in his or her care.

Explore professional services. Contact the person’s doctor, oncology nurses, social worker, or state or local health department for referrals for home care services that are provided by reputable, professional caregivers. Home care services can range from administering chemotherapy and delivering medications to assisting with housekeeping, meals, and personal care. Talk with the person’s insurance company about which, if any, home care services are covered.

Recruit and organize volunteers. Identify and contact relatives, neighbors, family friends, and members of religious, civic, and social organizations who might be able to perform caregiving tasks. Use an online group calendar such as Lotsa Helping Hands to set up volunteer schedules and share information.

Prepare for unexpected travel. Be prepared to "care commute," if necessary. Investigate travel options in advance and have adequate backup help ready to care for your own family if you need to make an unexpected visit. Reserve some vacation or sick days from work for these visits.

Provide and seek emotional support. Reach out to the family member or friend you are caring for through regular phone calls, letters, and e-mails to remind him or her of your constant support. It is also equally important for long-distance caregivers to seek out support for themselves from family, friends, or a counselor to help deal with the emotions and stress that can be associated with this role. Many long-distance caregivers, for example, feel guilty for living far away from the person with cancer. They may feel overwhelmed by the challenges of being responsible for coordinating tasks. Identify people who are sources of emotional support and meet with them on a regular basis.

Making the most of visits

The key to a successful visit is planning ahead and using the time wisely to perform caregiving tasks that cannot be done from afar. The following suggestions can help you make the most of a visit.

Meet with a member of the medical team. Set up an appointment with the person’s doctor, oncology nurse, or social worker to review and discuss medical issues in person. Prepare a list of questions for the health care provider before the trip and make sure he or she has your correct contact information. It is important to include the person with cancer in the discussions, if possible.

Meet with your family member or friend's informal support network. Arrange to meet with friends, neighbors, and members of community organizations that are helping provide care. Ask if they have any concerns or suggestions on ways to improve care and to contact you immediately if they identify any problems.

Schedule a break for the local caregivers. If possible, plan to take over some of the local caregivers’ responsibilities so they can take a break from their routines. Doing so also gives you the opportunity to reassess caregiving needs and resources first hand. Observe the person’s condition and the condition of his or her surroundings. Is there food in the refrigerator? Is the house clean? Is the person bathed and groomed? Spend time talking to the person with cancer about their feelings regarding the care they are receiving, if possible.

Take time to reconnect. Schedule quality time with the family member or friend you are caring for by participating in activities that you enjoy doing together.

More Information

Organizing Your Cancer Care

Young Adults as Long-Distance Caregivers

Caregiving

Additional Resources

Cancer Care: Get Help Online (Caregiver Support Groups)

Family Caregiver Alliance: Handbook for Long-Distance Caregivers

Caring From a Distance

Last Updated: April 10, 2009