Many people are concerned about leaving a legacy: evidence that their life mattered and that they made a difference in the world and in the lives of those they love.

Creating your own legacy

A legacy reflects who you are as a person and what your life was about. Take time to reflect on the events in your life: the things you have accomplished, the people you have loved, and the memories that you cherish. Creating a legacy that reflects your life is a valuable gift to your family and friends, and can help ease your own sorrow about leaving them behind.

Some ideas for creating a legacy include:

• Making a videotape diary
• Writing letters to your loved ones
• Recording a cassette tape of your memories and thoughts
• Making a photo album or scrapbook with pictures of you and your loved ones together, as well as mementos from special places you have been
• Creating a piece of artwork, such as a poem, a painting, or a quilt that reflects you and your life
• Donating your time and/or money to a charity or cause that has been important to you

Whichever means you choose to create your legacy, there are different things you may decide to include:

• The beliefs, values, and insights you have gained through your life experiences
• Stories and memories of important experiences and events, including those you shared with family and friends
• The hopes and dreams you have for your loved ones in the future
• Prayers and wishes for your family and friends
• A record of what you are thinking and feeling as you approach the end of your life

Memories are also an important legacy. Every person leaves a legacy as they live on in the memories of loved ones. Talk with your loved ones about the times you have spent together and the experiences you have shared. You will be honoring memories, as well as creating new ones for your loved ones to cherish. Arrange a family gathering to commemorate a special occasion, even if it means "making up" a reason to celebrate. You family and friends will cherish photographs and memories of these events long after you are gone. Consider taking a special trip with your family or fulfilling a lifelong dream. Organizations that grant wishes to seriously ill children and adults are listed in Additional resources (see below).

Leaving a legacy for your children

If you have young children, it is normal to experience deep sadness over milestones you will not be able to share. Leaving a legacy for your children can help them feel connected to you at special times in their lives, as well as giving you a way to share your hopes and wishes in the future. For children who may be too young to remember you clearly, photographs and videotapes of you together will remind them of your love and connection.

Here are some practical suggestions that have worked well for other parents:

• Write letters to your children to be opened at special times during their lives, such as a first date, high school graduation, or their wedding day. Write down what you would say and the advice you would give them.
• Make videotapes of you and your children together at special events or just doing everyday things you enjoy. You can also videotape or tape record messages to your children.
• Make a photo album or scrapbook with pictures of you and your children and mementos of things you did together. Depending on the ages of your children, you may want to include them in making albums and scrapbooks.
• Give your children important keepsakes or gifts, along with a letter explaining why the keepsake is important to you and why you want your child to have it. You can also leave instructions for keepsakes to be given to your children at special times in the future.

Creating a legacy for a loved one

Creating a legacy for a loved one can help family and friends cope with their grief, while honoring the life of the person who has died. Creating a legacy can be especially important for parents grieving the loss of a young child. A legacy can make the child's life, no matter how short, have a more complete purpose. Children or teenagers who have lost a parent find that creating a legacy helps them stay connected to their parents and reminds them of the loved they shared.

Some ways of creating a legacy for a loved one include the following:

• Make a photo album, scrapbook, or memory box with pictures and other special items.
• Keep a diary of your thoughts and memories about your loved one or write letters to him or her.
• Create a physical memorial, such as planting flowers or donating a bench to a local park.
• Organize a one-time or yearly celebration of your loved one's life, such as a tree planting or a family picnic.
• Volunteer with a cancer support organization or a charity your loved one supported.
• Donate money to a charity in honor of your loved one or raise money for an event, such as a charity walk or bike ride.
• Create a memorial website where you and others can share thoughts and memories of your loved one. Many patient advocacy organizations have information about creating memorial websites.

Doing what is right for you

Not everyone will feel the need to create a legacy for himself or herself, or for someone else. If you do want to create a legacy, factors such as your time, your talents, your resources, and your energy level will affect the legacy you do create. Try not to feel pressured to plan the perfect celebration or to find the perfect words to write in a letter. Whatever legacy you create, the love and caring you put into it will be remembered by your family and friends.

Additional resources

Wish-granting organizations

Make-A-Wish Foundation

Dream Foundation

Making Memories

More Information

End-of-Life Care

Grief and Bereavement